Moving

I have changed the focus of my life, I feel that the blog Knitting Our Way to Peace that I own with co-author Katie is more important than this.

I want to focus on that for awhile so if you were a regular reader you can still read about my life and happenings at

Knitting Our Way to Peace.

Life is Slowing down a little?

Hey

While Sufyan is finished with drama, Suky is still volunteering at the library. I still have Astronomy to do.

Today was Sufyan's last festival of plays. He was a punk rockin' Oscar Mayer Commercial kid.

However on Tuesday I start tutoring a little boy in English @ 4pm. Fun JOY!

Sahara has a company picnic tomorrow and I have to go with her.

So slowing down some but not completely! It will be less hectic without having to drive Sufyan to and from drama everyday.

Suky is volunteering through August and I am thankful for that because I can perhaps get some studying done during her two hour stints.

Shakespeare in the park volunteer time is almost over as well. So I will have my weekend evenings back.

We haven't heard from the Jr. Players about volunteering for their play yet. But we will, I am sure.

That's about it.

H

What's Happening

Well,

1. I didn't make it to my weigh in this week.
2. I have been crafting up a storm www.k-n-p.blogspot.com
3. Running kids to and from
4. crafting
5. Running kids to and from
6. crafting

you get the picture.

I should be doing astronomy HW but I have been lazy. I am determined to devote all of Sat and Sun to Astronomy.

Hanane

Took Time to Stop and See the Sunflowers

Taking time to See the Butterflies

This year it seems there are a lot more butterflies. So last night and today I went out and took some pics of the flowers in our yard. Plus I am having fun just playing with the camera. Hey at least I am not eating right?

Another Weight in Today

I went to weight in today and I lost 1lb this week. Yippee!!! Scale is moving slowly to the left. But at least it is moving again.

I know I should be thrilled but I am not. I am feeling depressed. There are changes I need to make in my life and I don't even know where to begin.

Don't get me wrong I am thrilled with my success but I am just feeling like I am being beaten down at every turn.

Like I can't do anything right.

Oh well!

H

Dr. Phil, BAUD, PsyMed

Ok, haven't had a lot of time to watch Dr. Phil lately and it was all that was on Friday afternoon, and low and behold, it was about the BAUD, and Dr. Phil clearly stated that this HAS to be administered by a MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONAL.


It was administered to me and others by a CEO BSc of PsyMed in a hotel conference room. I can't believe that. What are these people trying to do? Ok so maybe he was "trained" by Dr. Lawless to do it, but I am not comfortable knowing that something that alters brain patterns was administered by a non-professional, in a hotel conference room.

Once more I tell everyone that PsyMed sucks, and it is a shame that they are the only company that our lap-band doctors have to refer us to.

H

Looking in the Mirror and MY Declaration of Independence.

Anyone who went to Psymed does this sound familiar?

"Five minutes a day… doing this doesn’t sound like a lot. However, for me,in the past, spending 5 minutes on “myself” in focused activity ,has seemed like an eternity. Recently I accomplished 30 days of looking in the mirror & telling myself that I love myself. “I love you just as you are”, “I love myself just as I am”. It’s become fun and I’m continuing it."


This suggestion has popped up again on WW. I am still not comfortable with it. Stand in front of a full length mirror and be ok with it. HMMMMMMMMMMM? Can it be done? I don't recall ever being able to accomplish this.

I did write

My Declaration of Independence

When, in the course of my life, it becomes necessary for me to change how I handle certain aspects of my life, I know that I have enough strength to do that.

After all, I have a right to feel healthy and good about myself, live to a ripe old age and enjoy life.

I shouldn't have to feel tired, depressed, angry and unattractive, and I refuse to feel that way anymore.

I know losing weight is hard. When it comes to food, I have an especially hard time with chocolate, chips, cake and cookies any thing sweet.

But it's worth it to me to dedicate myself to the task of losing weight, and I will do what it takes to meet my weight goal of 160 pounds.

I am dedicated to my plan for weight loss, and to get there, I will exercise @ least two and aim for three times a week. And I will take the time to knit with my friends.

Now is my time, and I WILL make it happen. This is my Declaration of Independence from the obstacles I struggle with daily. Let the fireworks begin!

LOOK UP!!! See the scale slide to the RIGHT!!!!

I did it, I stayed On band and weight watchers program this week and I lost 3.2 lbs....Yippee!!!!!!

Happy Happy Happy dance!!!!

I did it, I did it, I did it!!!!!


Back on track with support and lovin' it!

Hanane

Tomorrow First Weigh in!!!! :0

Ok, tomorrow I go in for the first weigh in....first accountablility! How do I think I did? Well besides screwing up one day not to bad. I did dip pretty deeply into my weekly points, however today is Thursday and I still have like 15 left of the 35 extras we are given.

I am kind of excited to go in and weigh in! I think I will go to the meeting early just to see if I like it or not. I liked the 12:15 meeting but I want to try different times and maybe shop around for a different place.

I am excited but nervous. I can see this point counting keeping me on track. I still eat until I am full and stop.

I have gotten better about no water with my meals, back on the band program.

Small bites chew chew chew.......what was that montra gain?


I'll fill you in tomorrow.

H-

My Travel Books

• The Cairo Trilogy 1-3 Naguib Mahfouz (Egypt)
• The Joy Luck Club Amy Tan(California and China)
• The Hamilton Case Michelle de Kretser(Sri Lanka/Ceylon)
• The Kite Runner Khalid Hosseini (Afghanistan)
• Anna Kareninia Tolstoy(Russia)
• The Lost Painting Jonathan Harr (Italy)
• The Secret Supper Javier Sierra (Milan, Italy)

My First Meeting!

I went to my first meeting with my friend Sakina she went as moral support, and suprisingly the WW system is going to work with this band thing. I felt the support and heard the same rules I use to hear @ the notorious Psymed.

I think it is going to be the support I need on the weekly or even more basis that I need.
I can go to as many meetings as I like, get the support I need and feel good about me again.

Today the main thing I took away from the meeting was REFRAMING
I know about this and I am going to be doing it! When I go for something to eat I am going to ask myself, "What is eating me?" then I am going to reframe it and do something else.

I also took away relax and nurture. Things I have been neglecting. I dropped my weekly knitting group and I really want to pick that back up. It me time and time for me to relax and do something for me.

Look out blogging world I may truely be back this time.

Still bread free...How long is that now????? 3 whole months!!!! GO ME!!!!!!

That is a big deal for me. Most of you know how much I loved BREAD!!!!

Joined Weight Watchers

Now I know I know what your all thinking,,,,but seriously is there any descent support group out there that doesn't cost and arm and a leg. That meets when you need them to meet? The answer is a resounding NO!!!!!

There is not! So I joined in hopes of getting my head right! The band stopped the physical hunger but not the one in my head. I need tools people and lots of them, I need support that is dependable and lots of it.

I went on the board of Weight Watchers Online and there a quite a few people out there using it as a tool, a maintenance and a aide in times of need.

I told my friend today that I feel like I have been banded like a bird and set free in the wild to forage on my own again.

They band us and set us free....not help...no assistance....no support.

So I joined WW to see if I can get the support I need from them.

I will keep ya posted.

Hanane

I GOT ME A PIG

Check out Matilda in the Side bar....
Isn't she cute?

Feed her an apple.

If you click on her she oinks...LOL

I luvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv HER!!!!

Some Camera Play

I got a new camera and have been playing thought I would share.

Just call me stupid

Today was supose to be my first day of class, and can you believe that I didn't go! Because I thought they started on the 6th.

STUPID STUPID...oh well that is why I am in math for dummies. I don't know my numbers.

Today starts NO MORE SUGAR

Ok, I'll confess, I have been eating way toooooooooooo many sweets. So just like bread (which I am still free of) I am officially giving up sweets. (side note, this does not include chocolate of the dark nature when needed. I consider it a necessity)

Splenda or Z-sweet for me from now on. No more bingeing on sweets.


So that is what is going on with me. That and the fact that I forgot today was my first day of my summer class. OPPS!!!!

I am going to go over early and walk the track at Brookhaven in the morning before class. Which starts @ 7:30am, walk, walk, study, study,

Home before the kids get up.

Gym in the afternoon, at the suggestion of "A" I am going to try a spinning class. Hopefully I won't have a heart attack while doing it.

I need to get my money's worth out of this gym membership already.

Hanane

School's Over Sub Job DONE

Well it is all over, until Aug. Summer classes start on June 4th. Woohoo!!

So I have all of 3 days to enjoy! Tomorrow I am taking the girls down to A-Kon to spend the day.
It should be fun.

Hanane

GPA 4.0

I did it I don't know how, work, kids, lack of visiting and knitting with friends, but I maintained my 4.0 gpa. I am very proud of me!

I miss everyone tremendously but, I am determined to be finished!!!! I want a piece of paper that says YOU HAVE A DEGREE!!!!

I have put it off and put it off, and people told me I would never go back. But I did! I am! I am doing it @ 39 years old!

YIPEE!!!!!!

Just thought I would give you the update.

Still bread free!!! No minus in poundage at this time!!!! But it will happen!

Hanane

Mother's Day

My kids treated me to a nice Mother's Day.

Sahara got me a copy of Lerner and Loew's Camelot as seen on HBO in 1983. It is my absolute favorite version.

Suky got me a piggy lip-gloss and a button that says. "Drink Coffee! Do stupid things faster and with more energy"

Sufyan got me a gerber daisy in a vase.

Ducks in the Pool

We woke up one day last weekend with ducks swimming in our pool
had to get pics, and picks of the cats worrying about them being in there.

Busy Busy Busy Bee

Well, finals are here, I am a busy busy person right now. My sub job was extended to the end of the year. So I will be officially working until June 1st.

I have 2 more finals to go. The one that is stressing me the most is the English Final. I really want to pass this class, with at least a B but it doesn't look like that is going to happen, which will drop my GPA. I like the 4.0 it is nice and round.


I have enrolled in 2 summer courses. The next step in Math for Dummies, and Astronomy.

I have pretty much mapped out what I want to take in the fall, but I have to wait and see what the school schedule looks like.

I know I want to take a Photography course, Latin, Geology and a Lit course on the Holocaust.

Bread update!!! I am still bread free. Yippee!!!!

I lost another 2 lbs.

All is well on that front.

Hanane

BAUD

My friend "A" told me that Dr. Phil had the BAUD on the show the other day. Back in the day when I was going to Psy-Med (:P)(psst) . D'Wayne, affectionately know as T--, to some, brought in the BAUD and I thought what the heck I would give it a whirl. I have to say it did kind of turn me off bread for about a day. Then after that well.... personally I think it was a mind over matter kind of thing. It didn't work for the other people in the group and it didn't work for me.

There are things, like eating, smoking, sodas, and bread that we just have to say NO to. We have to be determined to give them up. Expensive machines and witch doctor practices aren't going to do it for you people.

I gave up soda and I have given up bread. My choice, on my time. Most people who give up cigarettes give them up because they are determined to be free of them, not because some BAUD machine, or miracle patch worked for them...the patch, gum lozenges are designed to be tapered off, but if want to smoke you will smoke, once they are gone.

I have a friend who is or was addicted to the lozenges, but she isn't smoking but is she helping herself by still chewing up bottle after bottle of lozenges? I don't so.

It is like me with bread, I knew bread caused me to get stuck, I would spit up each time potentially could have caused a slip, but did I stop? NO! I continued to eat bread everyday reasoning that if were crispy enough it would be fine. AVOIDANCE and RATIONALIZING don't you hate it.

But now that I have given up bread the incidents of getting stuck has greatly decreased.

I thank all of you who are following me on this journey and I am glad to be back on it with you!

Dang the Norwegian who pissed me off and caused me to second guess my blogging.

Hanane

Still Bread Free and -5lbs

Yippee! I had to scroll back and see how many days I have been bread free and it started back on March 21st so I am doing well. The exercise has kinda gone by the wayside!!! Still power walking around the school drinking tons of water. But Saturday Yoga is still on!

I am feeling good again!

Gotta run...papers call

h-

Yoga

Sahara and I went yoga class together today and it was FUN!!! I really enjoyed the instructor and I feel Awesome!!!!! I loved it!

I am going to go take a class again tomorrow @ 10:30.

I feel sooooooooooo good right now!!!! Like My whole body is relaxed.

Now I will admit there were some poses I could not do and that is okay the instructor said to do as much as I could and come out of it when I can't do anymore.

I like her.

I will keep it up.

Hanane

Still Bread Free

I am conquering this habit!!!! No bread now...How long is that!!!!

Sorry I have been absent for a few days but school work called!!!!!

I am trudging along with it. Exercise didn't happen this week because of it but I am planning on making it out tomorrow for Yoga!!!!! From 11-12 I will let you know.

Gotta run!!!! 2 tests to get done tonight before it gets much later.

H-

Wednesday Night Exercise

Well it didn't happen, I was so cramp-y from my cycle that I just couldn't get up and get out again after getting home. I even canceled my tutoring session. But I will get back on the horse Saturday morning with Yoga and then again on Sunday morning.

I am determined to exercise!

I am still power walking around the school. I am drinking tons of water!

The answer to the question everyone wants to know "Have you been on the scale yet?" NO!

H-

The First Exercise Classes

Well they went well, I feel great, Energized. I love the Aqua Fitness class and the Yoga was interesting as well,

I will keep it up! I can't wait for Wednesday night and Yoga again!!! The instructor was great!

H-

Feeling Good

You just can't imagine how happy I am to be blogging again! Well I guess you can if you have come to the blog and see 2 posts in one day. I am excited about having come up with an exercise schedule.

It's about time! So hopefully this will work and I'll be able to do the Yoga with out too much difficulty.

I am excited and I'll keep you posted.

H-

Exercise

Ok I finally sat down with the Bally's Website and worked out an Exercise class schedule @ clubs that will work for me! Sunday I will do Yoga, uptown on McKinney Ave. Monday I will do Aqua Fitness and Yoga on Parker Road, Wednesday Yoga on Parker Road and Saturday on Parker Road.

This will work for me, I hope, the kids have, Sunday school on Sundays with their dad, TKD on Monday night, Wednesday everyone can fend for themselves and Saturday is usually a nothing kinda day anyway.

Wish me luck and I'll keep ya posted, I am started tomorrow, I will post how that goes.

H-

Feeling Prolific this Morning

Well, I just answered an email to an old friend from the PsyMed days! Seems we have been on the same road. I told her in this email that I felt that blogging really helped me to work harder. It was my own little self promoted, solicited, support group.

I could put down my thoughts and you all could see them, read them and comment upon them.

Like I said yesterday, I am doing well, Still No bread!!!! Now we'll see what can be the next step. I even managed to add exercise into my day, in a weird way but it's there, Power Walking where ever I go, Down the Halls of the school. I did realize that I have to get better shoes for that, and since we can only wear athelitic shoes on Fridays, any suggestions on a good Power Walking shoe?

Confession Time! Ready! Here it goes! I joined a gym, But I have only been 1 time, ONCE!!!! I am paying for it but haven't made it in. Now granted leave for work @ 6:15 every morning and get home @ 3-3:30 every afternoon, run to classes on Tuesday and Thursday! But what about the other days? Well I study! I cook! I haul the kids to TKD! I know I know,,,your each thinking WHY Are you paying for something you aren't using! Well I do plan to use it in the summer! When I am free! I swear! Someone make me stick with this! They have a yoga class! I really want to get back to that!

Well that's it for now!!!!!

H-

Friday's Update

All is going well. NO BREAD since the doughnut holes. Still power walking around the school when I have to go out of the office. I may start walking the student parking lot on my lunch break next week. It will be good exercise.

H-

How It's Going

Well let's see it is Day 3. I have done well. Today I had 4 donut holes but I am not beating myself up about it! I am going on! No bread other bread products. I am back on track! I WILL beat this.

Exercise, well since my job requires me to do a LOT of walking I am taking advantage and power walking where ever it is I have to go. I broke a sweat today going to C-Hall. I have also pledged to take the stairs until my knees say NO!!!

I will keep you posted.

-H

Determination

Ok! I know certain people have said that Will Power has nothing to do with life after being banded.
I am not sure about that. I decided to give up soda and in the beginning it took will power to say, "NO!" TO THAT NICE ICY DIET COKE, but I did it! I have lived 2.5 years with out a coke, or anything carbonated. (I confess to truly missing root beer)

So here is where determination comes in! I am going to be determined stop with bread. If I can go with out soda I can go with out bread. I am "X-ing" it out of my life. I know it will be hard but I am going to do it. I am going to quit eating bread just like I quit drinking coke.

I knew going into this thing that coke was bad for the band. I know after being in this thing for over 2 years now that bread is BAD news.

So no more of this well it is really crispy, toasty etc. Crackers fall in the bread category too.
They muck up my band and I get stuck and I spit up!!!! Who likes to do that. NOT ME! NOT ANYMORE!

I will report back about the bread thing. Once I have that conquered I will move on to the next bad thing on my list and mark that off as well!

I will resume my small meal tactic.

I WILL NOT EAT UNLESS I AM HUNGRY!!!

Gee I learned to knit to keep my hands busy! KNIT WOMAN!!!!! DON'T EAT!!!!

I'll keep in touch

Hanane